One of the many things I have learned as a new parent is this: if ever I thought I was tired before having a baby, I was terribly, terribly wrong.
I hereby apologize to the universe for any time I gluttonously overslept and declared myself “so tired.” To be fair, I could never have known then what it meant to be truly, bone-achingly tired. And to any parents of two, or three, or more children, I know. I know you’re more tired than I am. Honestly, I have no idea how you do it.
During these eight odd months since having a baby, I’ve been continuously surprised by the new levels of Functional Fatigue that I’ve achieved. Yeah, pregnancy was tough. I had to pee at least three times a night (poor baby!). I whined about not being able to sleep without my pregnancy pillow (woe is me!).
Did I think I was tired that first night in the hospital after 9 months of pregnancy and 9 hours of labor? Sure. Did I think I was tired a week later after seven nights of all-night-nursing? Yeah. But that was nothing compared to two weeks of all-night-nursing. At 4 weeks post-partum I declared “I will die if I don’t get a good nights sleep!”
Guess what? I’m still alive.
Around T-Bone's twelve week mark things started to settle down. But then I had to go back to work, and the night feedings continued. And four weeks of sleep deprivation turned into four months, turned into six months, going on nine….
So you can understand I might get a little teeny bit annoyed when I’m on a flight from SFO to Newark — just an ordinary afternoon flight mind you, not a red-eye — and a twenty-something childless woman declares woefully to the stewardess “I absolutely must be seated next to my husband, you see, I need to rest my head on his shoulder, it’s the only way I can sleep!,” because, you know, as she says “I’m really tired, and I have to work tomorrow!”
If looks could maul…
So anyway, Childless People: You are not tired. Trust me.
