Most Embarrassing Moment, Really?

Somewhere in the book called Script Writing for Reality Competition Shows, if it existed, is a chapter about having the contestants respond to the question: "What was your most embarrassing moment?"

Ok, I admit, that's just a creative way for me to get around saying, "Last night, on American Idol, they asked the contestants, What was your most embarrassing moment?..."

Of course when you hear the responses, "I tripped during my flute recital" etc, you start to think about your own blush-inducing life moments... Thinking of my own embarrassing moments always makes me chuckle. And then it occurred to me that I have a strange need to share my embarrassing moments at every possible opportunity, and in fact they aren't really embarrassing. Is that normal? I just find it strangely liberating, and because they always seem to involve poop, I find them downright hilarious. I hope you do too.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, you did not come to the wrong place. This is still a mommy blog, and not a fecal fetish site, or similar. No worries. I promise not to talk about poop in more than 20% of my entries; and at least 90% of poop-related entries will involve only baby-poop (not mommy poop).

So yes, if asked this question during my Reality Show Competition, my "most embarrassing* moment" would be:

Pooping in the delivery room with Baby #2 (gotta come up with a name for her!). Every woman facing childbirth for the first time knows that this is a possibility. I worried about it before and during delivery of T-Bone. I even fretted about it to the nurse, asking her to let me use the bathroom ten times before they hooked me up to the IV -- when I knew I would be peeing through a catheter and pooping on the table from there on out... But with T-Bone no poop was forthcoming. I was actually a bit disappointed. Well none that I know of.

Long, sordid story short, it happened with Baby #2, and I am certain of it. I could have missed it, but my husband was kind enough inform me in his own subtle way. During some of the more intense contractions, he looked at me with that wide-eyed inquisitive face that is usually reserved for the aisles of Borders and other public places to silently ask "Did you FART?" but in this case the facial expression was so exaggerated and fill with horror, it was clear that I had not only farted, but also shat right there on the table in front of a room full of people. And if the facial expression was not clear enough, he also added the ever-so-subtle wave of his hand as if to say P.U. Gee thanks for the update honey!

Of course at the time I could not have cared less, nor did I see any humor in the situation. I was just happy to have had my bladder finally relieved with some magical maneuvering of the baby's head to un-block the catheter, and whatever else was choosing to clear-on-out of there to make way for the baby, was A-OKAY by me. But looking back, yeah it's funny.

*Is this really embarrassing? Well, can a woman who has lived through childbirth ever be embarrassed by bodily functions?