Google Malaise

A friend of mine queried me the other day "have you ever Googled someone from your past?"

It was my assumption that everyone has done this. Even before there was Google, back when you pulled up yahoo.com on your Netscape browser in 1996, one of the first things you did was search on your own name... So it has always been my assumption that everyone has Googled their ex, their high school BFF, highschool nemesis, childhood friends, teacher crush, that girl from across the hall in the dorm, their orthodontist, the eight year olds they babysat, and their co-counselors at the Calve Island summer camp...and most importantly, yourself.

I answered my friend honestly, "Of course. Who hasn't?"

She then continued with a recounting of events along the lines of "well, now he's married..." and she mentioned something about a magazine spread... and finally ended with "after I found out this stuff, I just felt sort of, I don't know, not so great."

Google Malaise *

It happens to the best of us. That generally insecure and somewhat dirty feeling we get when we Google someone from our past only to discover that they've recently been promoted, featured in a magazine spread, elected to public office, or run a 10k. Ugh. And what have we done? Well, besides sitting on our asses Googling exes and writing snarky blog posts?

But I think there's something we don't often consider - the only news that makes the internets is typically good news. Last time I checked there is no Nasty Divorce or Adultery section in the the New York Times. And anyone who has been sedentary for the last twenty years can safely assume their weight watchers failures will never, ever appear on the internet. And your high school classmate who really did end up like those anti-marijuana ads?, well he doesn't have internet access at his grandma's house, so there's no way he's showing up on a Google search.

And you also won't find birth announcements, tales of uneventful happy marriages, achievements in potty training, and years of service as a stay at home mom. These things somehow fly under the internet radar.

Anyway, I chalk it up to human nature. We are curious and it is there, so we Google. Nothing to feel bad about. And chances are, the snippet of life we can see on the internet is not the full story, and our private achievements are no less admirable.

* My spouse is one of the fortunate few who experiences Google Gloat. He has an ex who blogs about the excruciating minutia of her personal life (without anonymity, go figure) and sadly, very little she writes impresses him. But then again not much impresses him, so that's an entirely different post.